Isaiah Neil joined People First Radio to speak about his experiences as a suicide attempt survivor and journey to becoming an advocate for youth mental health.
The Edmonton resident recently shared some of his experiences as part of a panel on youth mental health, to mark the launch of a report into the subject from Mental Health Research Canada, commissioned by Bell Let’s Talk.
Neil’s been involved in football for 14 years, including with the University of Alberta Golden Bears. He says one of the first people he reached out to to share what he was going through was someone who had themselves opened up experiences with suicidal ideation.
“The very first coach that I reached out to had also shared his struggles with suicide during COVID, because during COVID, there was no season and we had these little workshop sessions where we kind of shared and talked about our experiences,” he said.
“And so when I was going through my period of suicidal ideation at the time, I remember that coach. I was like, ‘hey, that’s a, that’s a great starting point.’ And so I started talking to him.”
He also confided in another staff member who worked with the team on psychological and motivational training.
“Both of those people were so receptive and they were also encouraging me like, ‘hey, don’t be scared. This team is going to love you no matter what. And then that’s when I built up the courage to kind of just let everyone know like, Hey, sometimes I’m going to be struggling, sometimes I’m going to be down, but you know, bear with me and hold me up and I’m going to be here for you guys 100 percent of the way.”
Neil says the fact that he was helped by someone else who had shared their story is why he opens up now.
“When I’ve shared my story, I find other people that are also struggling and we have a conversation and that’s kind of like their first step into the right direction,” he said.
“It’s the reason why I am so open because it was really the answer for me. And I’m hoping that. I can help someone else out as well.”
He recommends anyone looking to learn more about the topic check out Donald Artim’s memoir One Friday in April.
“This book really encapsulated a very special kind of feeling or a moment in time when you’re going through something like this, that is not in textbooks. It cannot be described by most people,” he said.
“It’s something that people have trouble explaining. And it’s this weird. I guess on the fence feeling of letting go, but still wanting to hold on. And I think that’s a really important thing when it comes to people that are struggling with suicide. It’s not always that they want to die. It’s a last resort option that they see no way out.”
Neil says he wants to pass on to people that it’s okay to struggle.
“You are worth more than what you are at any given moment,” he said.
“That’s a saying that I go by every single day because truthfully and honestly, there’s going to be many negative moments in our life. There’s going to be times that we fail, there’s going to be times that we mess up, there’s going to be times where we have to say goodbye to people or we have to break relationships.”
“But at the end of the day, none of those moments make or break us. Moments are temporary, they come and go, they can’t change our worth or stop our growth because we are worth more than what we are at any given moment.”
Resources:
You can call or text Canada’s suicide crisis hotline at 988:
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health offers a guide on talking to a family member you think is considering suicide:
https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-family-member-is-suicidal
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